The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Humor is reason gone mad.