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Famous Quotes By George Carlin


I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I am an American - you know, you grow.

George Carlin - [ Politics ] - [ e-Card ]


Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.

George Carlin - [ Humor ] - [ e-Card ]


Religion has convinced people that there is an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

George Carlin - [ Religion ] - [ e-Card ]


Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!

George Carlin - [ Humor ] - [ e-Card ]


Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

George Carlin - [ Humor ] - [ e-Card ]


You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

George Carlin - [ Humor ] - [ e-Card ]



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