Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me".

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

He who laughs... lasts.

Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.

Insanity is hereditary. You can catch it from your kids.

There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I’ve got dreams, of course I’ve got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it, and yep, they’re still there.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.